far away, peering in

Old Memories.

Back in junior high, I had this crush on a girl (::gasp:: a girl) named Lisa (name changed).  I wasn’t really sexually aroused by her; it was more of a fascination thing.  She was really skinny, had a cute voice, and played volleyball and soccer.  She was more butch than me.

Today I thought about her and wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with her.  I guess in a heterosexual relationship, I’m supposed to be the dominant, protective one.  If I worked out and developed some muscles, I can perhaps pull off that part.

I further delved into this hypothetical scenario.

I imagined going panty shopping with her at Victoria’s Secret.  I’m definitely not a fan of lace or anything frilly.  (And before anyone asks, no, I have no inclination to try on women’s underwear or lingerie.)

But could I truly love a female?

Maybe.  But as of now, it’s really just a fantasy I want to play out to be normal and accepted in society and church.

I’d be happier with a man, but I still have this nagging feeling that homosexual relationships are against God’s word.

But what female would want to be with a guy who’s attracted to other guys?


July 22, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. But what female would want to be with a guy who’s attracted to other guys?

    You never know; there are a lot of interesting people out there, trust me. :)

    I think what’s important to understand is what you want and, more importantly, why you want it. Do you really have a strong desire for a wife and female companionship? Do you think you could do it?–because it’s not as nice as it may look in hypotheticals.

    Or do you simply want it because it would make you feel more “normal.” And even if you do meet a woman that you are attracted to and want to start a relationship with (anything is possible), why would you have to be dominant? Why would anyone have to be dominant? Isn’t marriage supposed to be a partnership?

    Just know that “normal” is extremely overrated.

    Comment by Jay | September 2, 2007 | Reply

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